When you complain about something when you are small your parents asked what’s wrong, how can we help?

When you get a little older you’re called a whiner.

By grade school you’re a tattle teller.

As an adult and you complain you are just called a complainer.

If you complain at retirement age you’re just grumpy and old.

Where Are All Of The Protest Songs?

The less I eat, the more I can see my feet.

The more I talk, the less I listen.

The less I know, the more I want to learn.

The more I love, the less I’m in need of it.

The less I listen, the more I need to know.

The more TV I watch, the less time I have to do other things.

The less ice cream I eat, the more yogurt I consume.

The less I read, the more I want too.

The less I’m right, the more I’m wrong.

The more I exercise I get, the less my body hurts.

The less I pay, the more money I have.

The more I keep writing this, the less sense it makes.

Vote for Porky on Election Day.

My opponent is a jackass.

Mr. Ed for Governor

If elected I will the close fences to illegal Crows.

Daffy Duck for Senate

Vote for proposition “D” on Election Day.

Committee to clean up mud in the barnyard.

Stop the gas tax!

Paid for by the Jersey Maid cows committee for not so clean smelling air.

Don’t be sheepish; and let them pull the wool over your eyes.

Vote Mary for mayor of Farmville.

Stop abortion.

Elect Kentucky Chicken on Tuesday.

The degree of heat really hurts my feet, and a cold breeze hurts my knees.

There is really nothing the weatherman can say to please.

Should I wear a jacket or shorts? Will the sun be out or will it be cloudy? It’s all so confusing and not very amusing.

The temperature is up the temperature is down.  It’s cold it’s hot; sometimes it’s hard to know what it’s not.

It’s cold when it should be hot, and hot in places where it should be not.

The only constant is the day begins in the light, and ends at night.

Maybe I should worry less about the weather and knit myself a sweater (just in case).

Meaning: (I just ate a huge sandwich and I can’t stand up)

I Need A Nap

Meaning: (Sleeping is more fun than working)

I’m Tired

Meaning: (I shouldn’t have stayed up all night watching the Leave It To Beaver marathon)

I Need To Go To Bed Early

Meaning: (It takes so much energy to get out of bed that I might have to stay here all day)

I’m So Tired I Can’t Think Straight

Meaning: (It’s a good thing I don’t have a job painting the divider lines on the highway)

I’m Very, Very Tired

Meaning: (I’m not really tired at all, I’m just bored talking to you)

I’m So Tired My Tired Is Tired

Meaning: (What does that even mean?)

The car is in gear the moment I’m near.

The coffee maker perks before I’m alert.

My phone just dialed a number and I don’t know why?

The alarm clock woke me up early on a Saturday because it thought I should go out and play.

My air condiner went on and it’s not even hot.

The toaster popped two slices of bread on my plate and I already ate.

My computer just told me the time, the temperature, and the stock quotes, it’s really no joke.

It’s time to stop this now, but I just don’t know how.  Holly cow!

The sprinklers go on sporadically, automatically.

This wasn’t even written by me, I just thought of it and it appeared magically!

THANK YOU John McCain for Sarah Palin.

What is wrong with the old and unimproved?

There can’t be global warming.  July was cooler than normal in Southern California.

Is it genius to be smart or smart to be a genius?

The most overplayed band on classic rock radio is Boston.

Do we really want to elect someone to office who can’t tell the truth about their opponent?

Looking under rocks only adds to the grind.

I’m not sure what to write or what is right.

Oh well, nothing more to say, so I guess I will just go away,

and write something clever another day.

The perfect day starts this way.

It’s a Saturday, early in the day.

The sun is out and the sky is blue.

I can take a walk and look at the trees, the plants and maybe some ants.

I can stop by a garage sale and peruse other people’s junk, and maybe find a treasure or two in an old trunk.

Get a cup of coffee, and then go home and have nothing to do, and maybe take a snooze.

Yes, there is no day better, unless it’s cold outside and I have to wear a sweater.